I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
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