now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
