thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Let's get the cat blown out
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
