Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
