remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
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