last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Boobs are out for the taking
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
