yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Randomize
