dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
