I wish I could punch you in the face.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
