If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize