What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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