When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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