is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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