"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
