I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
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