i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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