you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Your penis caused this!
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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