woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
