Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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