...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
im drinking this country out of the recession.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
