apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize