dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
