hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
