Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Randomize
