Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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