Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
