What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
