Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
