I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
