are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
