Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize