i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
