Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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