I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Randomize
