My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
