And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
