You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Randomize
