Having a random hookup so left but love u
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
worst night to have a conscience
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
How external is "for external use only"?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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