I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
