I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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