Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
My ATM looks so different sober.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
