Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Randomize