No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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