So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
