I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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