They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
