it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize