margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
