We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
