you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
be right there i have to get my cape
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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