It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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