you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
