Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
