More tranny stories later!
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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