After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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