i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
