Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
