ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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