Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize