found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
