I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Let the clothes fall where they may.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
