I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
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