There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I just cut my nipple shaving
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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