Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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