Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
