Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
