I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
