No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
