Ambien. No doubt about it.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
