Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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