Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
