My room smells like vodka and shame
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
