just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
