I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
